On the morning of 13 January 1998, my life, catastrophically, changed.
It was a typical day. I kissed my husband Paul goodbye as he left for the skies as an airline pilot and instructor; flying was his calling, his passion. He had flown everything from aerobatic planes to the mighty Boeing 747-400. He was meticulous, calm, and deeply devoted – to flying and our life together.
We had plans, a growing family. A future drawn in careful, loving detail.
That morning at work, I waited for his usual call, the reassuring check-in after landing. But it never came. Instead, I saw two of Paul’s closest friends walking through the glass doors of my office, their faces solemn.
Everything I knew about my life was shattered in a matter of seconds. There had been a crash. Paul was gone. I was 28 years old and pregnant with our first child.
What followed were months of emotional devastation. I lost my husband, left my job, and grieved the life I thought I would have. I moved cities. I bought a house alone. And eventually, I gave birth to our son, Luke: the one light in that dark, unspeakable season.
As a former financial advisor at one of South Africa’s big five banks, I had spent years helping clients prepare for life’s uncertainties. But like so many people, I had assumed tragedy wouldn’t touch me. I believed we were untouchable.
But we weren’t. No one is.
What I learned through pain, paperwork, and persistence is that losing a loved one is not only an emotional blow. It’s a financial one too. Suddenly, you are forced to make major decisions in a fog of grief. There are accounts to manage, assets to protect, beneficiaries to consider, and taxes to navigate. All while mending a broken heart.
Why it’s important to work with a Certified Financial Planner before a loss occurs
Losing a spouse or loved one is one of the most devastating and disorienting experiences you can face. When it happens, you’re often too overwhelmed to think clearly – let alone make strategic financial decisions.
This is why working with a Certified Financial Planner® (CFP®) ahead of time is not a luxury – it’s a necessity. The right planner helps prepare you and your family with foresight and clarity, ensuring that when the unthinkable happens, you’re not left navigating a financial minefield alone.
Here’s why it matters:
- Proactive estate planning ensures your Will, beneficiary designations, and financial structures are updated and legally sound. Explore the Will my loved ones receive my investments when I die article on the Women & Investing hub for a practical introduction to estate planning.
- An emergency file created in advance gathers all the documents and information needed to settle an estate swiftly – from ID books and death certificates to title deeds and tax returns, as well as passwords for bank accounts and social media.
- Appointing a professional executor: preferably an attorney or a CFP®, ensures your estate is managed efficiently and your loved ones receive guidance and compassion.
- Immediate steps after loss: from obtaining the death certificate to notifying the Executor and arranging the funeral, it all can feel overwhelming. Having a plan in place allows space to grieve without financial panic.
- The administration of an estate takes over a year, even in the simplest cases. A CFP® streamlines this process, communicates with all parties involved, and ensures no details fall through the cracks.
Too often, I’ve seen grieving families lost in a tangle of paperwork, court delays, and financial uncertainty, all of which could have been avoided with earlier preparation.
When Paul died, I had no roadmap. I was left to navigate legal requirements, estate procedures, and financial uncertainty alone. I never want another family to experience that same confusion and despair. Consequently, his death has helped me improve what I do.
Today, I work as a Certified Financial Planner® to guide others through this emotional terrain before a crisis. Because once life happens, the time to prepare has already passed.
My story is one of love, loss, and learning. And I share it so that others can make empowered, thoughtful decisions while they still have time to do so – together.
So, if you’re reading this and thinking “We’ll get to that someday,” let this be your sign: make “someday” today for your spouse, your children, and yourself.
You can’t prepare for grief. But with the right guidance, you can prepare for everything that follows.
